My Second Haven

boo!

2006-01-25T01:45:00.000-08:00

hihi! its been ages since ive been here liao heh. haha, anyway ive moved liao. lala. cause its fun to keep moving around... =]

http://www.thecolourofred.blogspot.com

haha...

2005-09-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

You Are 9 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

ouch.=S

2005-09-23T12:08:00.000-07:00

ouch. =S im bored to tears in lessons. during lessons. lessons. blah. im bored to death. hahas. jiayou for eoys. =]

ive realised.
there's two ppl in this world.
who can make me smile.
and truly happy.

but i think she still doesnt know.

watever.

2005-09-15T13:35:00.000-07:00

i suck at everything in life.

thank you for the moment.
that you made me smile.
despite of everything.

=(

2005-09-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

ouch. i dont want to feel anything. cos everything i feel now makes me cry. even you.

the passion's dying.
a new somebody came for only a day.
the next day.
the feeling was gone.

do you honestly care about me?

haha, what a joke.

i've made a fool of myself.

the first person is always there for me.

and i believe in it.

all i want is you to listen to my troubles.

i want to lose my memory.

can?

i dunno.

2005-09-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

is there a place where i belong?

i wan tt feeling back. i jus wan tt feeling back.

i'm lonely.

quiz spree =]

2005-09-02T11:17:00.000-07:00

You're Most Like The Season Autumn ...
You're warm, and the most approachable. You have
that gentle prescence about you. People can
relate to you, and find you easy company.
However it's likely you've been hurt in the
past and it has left you scarred so things can
become rather chilly with you at times. Being
the third Season in, you're mature, trustworthy
and loyal to your friends but prone to
depression and negative thinking.
Well done... You're the shy and sensitive season :)

?? Which Season Are You ??

ahaha. there's some truth in this paragraph, esp one sentence heh. =]

! You are Most Like A Ruby !Passionate, in control - and very sexy. You tend tobe more dominant, and people long to possess yourwild nature. People find you fun, and a real live
wire.You're most like a Ruby because people simply can'ttake their eyes away from you - your bright
captivatingnature draws people to you.Congratulations ... You're the sparkly fun gem
everybody craves.

?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??

haha, ruby's are RED. =)

You're like a Dragon!

?? Which Mythical Creature Are You ??

err. what do i think. haha. GARH.

Youth

?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??

hmm, i know that. haha.

You're living the movie Event Horizon!

?? Which Horror Movie Are You Living ??

diaow. -.-'

Seahorse

?? Which Creature Of The Sea Are You??

TARK! wrong! at least i dun think so. im NOT shy.

Aphrodite/Eros

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??

u're my one. ther's no need to keep searching.

Cocktail

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??

huh?! young at heart. why does every quiz say that. =(

Rainbow

?? Which Natural Wonder Or Disaster Are You ??

GRR. can ppl stop telling me that im young at heart. =( im getting angry. but need to go for NWZ test liao. i think im going to fail. blah.

...

2005-09-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

wee =] i went to j8 yesterday wif fishball. =) haha. that's all. haha, i'm very lame. i bought three pairs of earrings. they cost 5 bucks each. ouch. and the irony is they are all star-shaped de but not exactly the same. wee, me and fishball like stars yay!!

p.s me and fishball also like big fuzzy furry teddy bears which cost 50 bucks each. ahaha, we are mad. =]

my nice warm cozy red heart.

rose. =)

2005-08-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

You are a Rose! You possess beauty like no other.
You are an original. You are romantic,
practical, and down to earth. You love spending
time with your special someone every chance you
get. Your relationships mean a lot to you and
you are a devoted partner and friend.

Which Flower Are You?

2005-08-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

haha, im currently at sembawang mac donald's wif xinyu dear! haha, shes still eating her fish burger though. =) blah, another crazy rehearsal. was totally slacking my head off last week. its impossible to hentak 90 degrees with that kind of crazy timing can. hurhur. anyway, my marching patners in my row is sgt. hui zi =] and another girl from canberra. haha. yay! sgt. hui zi rocks. =] haha. she and me got alot to crap about lehh. =] wee, shes from chung cheng. =)) bye bye. gotta go and change liao. xinyu is standing beside me and watching me type. haha, thanks for carrying my stuff from that corner to here. and the coffee. =] xinyu rocks too! =)+

hug. =]

2005-08-17T04:13:00.000-07:00

hugs my dearest 986546 =]

homework. =(

2005-08-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

OMFG. i dun haf time nowadays. must pia all my homework which are as tall as a mountain. wee. but i shall still blog down stuff.

· NDP! ahaha. it was totally bad lor. hais, rainy day formation. who asked the skies to rain tt day?! aiyo. jus stand there and stone.
· wee, i brought my camera! the photos are out! ppl who haven see yet must remember
to ask from me hor.
· successfully managed to hug eunice for the first time. and i hugged my fellow triplets. =] and sqmates too. =)
· went out for lunch wif sqmates at j8! ate lunch and spent one whole hour plus at the foodcourt. ooh, i finished eating very fast then end up sleeping while waiting for other sqmates. so did xinyu, jiayi and yuhsuan.
· friday cca was fun! ah, i luv doing twinkies. =] although it was quite tough when we were halfway through. but i found it quite enjoyable towards the end.
· ahaha. wat r u trying to do to the floor? XD

oh. and eileen says tt she rawks and she says tt i luv her alot. ahaha. eileen's now claiming tt she's not a fishball. bounce bounce bounce. poing. XD haha. i luv fishball alot but she doesn't rawk. XD

i really really miss u alot. and i still do luv u.

saturday! wee~

2005-08-07T00:05:00.000-07:00

hmm, want to blog about the afternoon. found it quite it fun. haha. oh after i left the com my er jie came to hog it. again. hais, anyway, mummy went shopping with da jie. tried to study chinese shou che on the bed but fell asleep. woke up, i only sleep for bout 10 mins only. went to sit on the table and was better. din fall asleep liao and finish the first chapter of ci yu's but stare at the ke hou lian xi paper and i really dunno how to do. very unsure of the answer. sheesh. zheng lao shi din teach and we are suppose to study it ourselves. turn to the other 2 lian xi's and know how to do and started filling in. slowly. cos its all jumbled up. and i read through the ci yu's. did my best. haha, then suddenly realised that the paper the section of liao bu liao thingy was rubbish. makes me feel lyk im in primary school and doing some dao de jiao yu or cme test paper liddat. bit feh. but hope those lame statements will help me to remeber the meanings better heh. =) haha. then do halfway very hungry, went to eat nuo mi ji. then a beeeg bao. than went back to do. suddenly my er jie ask me hungry arnot, then say okay larhh. she ask me want to eat fried egg arnot, then said anything, okay lorhh. then she jump downstairs to fry egg liao. haha, chased after her. and there was just nice 2 eggs left in the fridge. stand there to watche her fry the eggy cos i carn trust her that she wun add some extra weirddd ingredient into MY egg. haha, and my egg looks nice taste nice and is nice. =) ahaha, then she suddenly go and open the fridge to take the bottle of blacan out. dunno how to spell but its kinda lyk nasi lemak that kinda chilli. then i was lyk 'uh-oh, wat u want to do? blast the kitchen up or somthing?' then she give this evil look and say 'no, scarambled egg with blacan'. hurhur. then when she put the blacan to fry it was this very zhi xi smell, breathing lyk very sharp painful liddat cos of the blacan smell and stuff. ahur. i jumped out from the kitchen but went back to see wat happen to her liao. haha, then i din dare to taste her eggy. dun want to die so early yet. ahaha. =) then i went upstairs to on the tv. so bored that time. suddenly she popped upsatirs with a plate of fried ikan billis and ask me want arnot. then i eat abit she refuse to let me eat anymore!!! go downstairs and fried some for myself too. bit chao da heh but still quite yummy. search abit more around the house for anything cookable and edible. haha, but got nothing liao. sobs. both of us were still very hungry. haha. had to wash up all the things cos she refuses to do it. grrr. always liddat want. so spoiled by my parents. then daddy come home while i finshing. go back do hw. mummy came home wif da jie finally. got but buns but i full liao. tummy started digesting food le. continue doing hw. mummy rest a while and took the iron out to do ironing. suddenly remembered bout my precious u and took them out from the clothes cupboard. started pointing out that my blouse should be ironed until got a line at the sleeves there blah blah. was chao fussy bout the lines in particular then mummy ask me 'aiyo, they life lines meh?'. haha, wasnt offended. found it quite funny in fact. then told mummy my black skirt gonna split at the back liao. then she said 'aiyo, u ppl march all day long, no matter how i sew also will spilt one'. (dunno how to spell 'qlogue', wadever the spelling is. =X) haha, think its a very funny comment heh. ahaha, but anyway my u i s mended and ironed nicely liao. =] yay! haha, and my beret is currently under my cpu. =) wee, really hoped that it'll look bit better heh. haha. hmm, haven wash my muddy u bag and polish my boots yet. oh yarh, my kpo er jie had a violent objection with me ya-ing my beret underneath the cpu. but i heck care her. muahaha. X) im feeling eeevil now. whoa man, this is a very long post! i shall end now liao. =) wee~ 12 liao! ndp is coming!!! less than one day! X)

the triplets!!! we rock rock rock!

2005-08-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

oh gosh, why when i want to blog bout stuff i always end up blogging something emotional. eesh. even though im not feeling exactly happy, but some things must really record down. this week ndp reahearsals. not bad. at least better than last week or izzit i become not that paranoid liao. hmm, actually wanted to thank angela cos she did help calm me down. but i not in good mood. so shall not thank anybody. but give u a hug. hugs* oh yar, did i mention that lcpl. rebaca said our squad drill got improve? ahaha. that's true. i think quite so too. haha, squadmates lets jiayou! and remember wat ma'am rachel said. hmm, wat she told us was really meaningful on qian tian heh. we shall remember those words de ma'am. and wat we promised u too. =) hais, feeling abit slinghtly cheerful. hmm, really baddd. fishball lost her nametag. =( oh man, she said that the ncos say that there's no extra nametag in the sj room ehh. then if she still carn find, then cannot march for ndp liao! screams in horror* no! my dearest fishball must march for ndp!!! cos charcoal and nugget are marching too! the triplets must all march lehh. sobs* wee, apparently that day rehearsal ng soo lin was there talking bout some crazy rainy day formation for ndp. and i wasnt paying atention at all. was talking again to fishball. then spotted charlene staring at haha. i shall not say. ahaha. then aiyok, stoopid fishball was lyk so shocked that sumbody were a pair of twins. no ahaha, actually triplets but only got 2 there. the other one is another cca. then she kept having this chao surprised face. ahaha, then i start blabbering away. saying we also got triplets wat. just that one surname is lin, the other is jiang, another one is chen. ahaha then fishball come and say where got ppl triplets different surname one. ahaha. then we start laughing but suddenly realising how loud we are then start shh-ing each other liao. ahaha. so lame. stared at charcoal and then at lcpl. yijing. we both still think that they both look abit alike lehh. haha, but charcoal doesnt think so. saddd man. haha, anyway im the first ever person to hug charcoal dear after that day she had ever hugged her ahem*. haha, gosh, im feeling so honoured. haha, fishball was next. asked whether charcoal wants to be my 5th dar. haha, then she say dun want. ahaha, sad. =( but i dun care she shall be one even though she doesnt give full consent. wee. then go home that time. very funny. cos charcoal was walking on the nybs side of the road with her squadmates who are not crossing the brigde. fishball was walking with squadmates on the school side. and i was walking with charcoal's squadmates who are crossing the bridge also on the school side. then i was lyk talking to charcoal across the road but shouting loudly lahh. and then also shouting way to fishball. ahaha, so charcoal here, fishball there, nugget where. wahaha. X) so mad larhh. whee~ i love my triplets. X) hugs* anyway, im feeling more cheered up liao. =)

the ocean..

2005-08-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

dun ask me why. but im just feeling sad. sad and lost. i dun really know wat to do. im unsure of everything. but sometimes the things u do is really confuses me. but its just not the same without u. then i practise so hard for wat. hang on there for nothing. im feeling cheated. i know its not ur fault. but u could still have told me wat. or maybe u dont know how to start. nobody's fault, just my own.

u promised me gloves`
from the skins of the fishes`
the smile that'd darken`
i had the ring in my hands`
but u left me with nothing`
but a mouth full of air`

and

promises..

wide

as

the

ocean`

idiots of the world combined.

2005-08-03T23:20:00.000-07:00

stoopid woman. stoopid ppl. i hate all of u. i hate u. i hate them. wats your bloody problem larhh. got problem then say larhh. wah liao eh, u can say wadever shit u lyk. but the last thing u carn do is to insult my squadmates and sj. rubbish. ure rubbish. and i carn wait to trash u mann. trash u into the bin. dammit. this sucks big time. i dunno why the rest get to do wat they want but hello. this is just not fair. ure nothing but a bloody failure in your life and if ure gonna drag me into this kind of crap shit ure in, ure gonna get it from me. i'll do anything. im not joking. even off the edge. u idiot. u just carn feel wat others are feeling. u think ure bloody clever but let me tell u this straight in ur face. ure bloody hell stoopid and u just carn use ur brains to think in other ppl's shoes. all and everything thing in ur life is me i myself. i do not respect u and u do not earn my respect. get lost. idiot.

u made me feel so pissed that i dun feel lyk studying now liao. flunk everything for u to see.

if given the chance i would lyk to fire at u.

ahaha. wat a day. =S

2005-08-01T18:30:00.000-07:00

whoa! haha, sent my peranakan stuff to claire liao. ahaha. i wonder why im still not freaking out over chinese test. maybe cause its carn study that kind de larhh. and i dunno anything bout chinese culture either. but an impt key is to write fast. must write lyk crazy liddat cause slow ppl might not be able to finish, says zheng lao shi. haha, okies, thanks lao shi. =) its a good warning to slow ppl lyk me not to take my own sweet time to answer the questions heh. haha, oh yar, today the zi wo jie shao thingy is eunice. and she like claire too, started talking bout her hamsters. ahaha, the only difference between their hamsters is that eunice's one keeps ended up being killed, murdered, disappearing and vice versa; while claire's hamsters all ping an wu shi live to ripe old age mann. ahaha. X) this is so funny. haha, aiyok where got ppl yang hamster lyk the way she does? haha, but dunno why. think that eunice has this weirddd mentality that hamsters = doggys. haha, and she even lets her hamsters out into the garden cause ermm.. they need fresh air??! =X ahaha. and ended the poor hamsters kena eaten up by her dog. OUCH. =( poor things heh. again she buy new hamster and still bu zi liang li and put them in the garden. but apparently the hamsters too happy running around liao and run into some longkang thingy and was never found. GULP. this is scary mann. i wun ever want to go eunice house liao. haha, and she killed a total sum of 20+ hamsters from primary 1 - sec 1. sheesh. sweats* but in the end she decided to give up trying to yang hamsters liao cos she just ends up killing them ehh. the longest life span of her hamsters was half a year but the dunno how end up being kiaped by the running-excercise wheel thingy. sad. =( haha, and zheng lao shi suggests that she should go and nian fo jing or something. haha. mummy come home liao. hafta go eat dinner then pia chinese. hmm, or ya dearest pui ian, pls do cheer up okay? i dunno how i can help with anything but let me tell u again that wat u did was right. =) cheers! =]

i have the house to myself!!! lalala~

2005-07-31T17:00:00.000-07:00

arhh!!! i just carn resist the temptation of blogging another post! haha, its not lyk everyday i can have the house to myself heh. im alone at home! lalala~ blasting the amazon '05 camp performance music from my comp. haha, amazon '05 rocks! and i love our camp preformance! plus the candles! =) messing the house up such as doing stuff lyk throwing my hw everywhere!!! haha, there's books on the bed, books in front of the tv, books in front of the comp and vice versa. OMFG. haha, okies there's no books in the toilet lahh. haha, but me and siblings do use to bring books in and read one heh. oops. =S haha. im feeling so crazy now. cos i have the house to myself!!! aiyok, wonder why im still not freaking out by the large amount of hw and chinese test on tuesday yet. but dun worry, i will start freaking out sooner or later, meaning tonite or tmw. sure one. hais, blame myself lacking the d rule. NO DISIPLINE. haha, steff invent one. dun mean to suan u or anything. haha, but i really lack alot of that. hmm. i really shall go and do my hw liao. dar rocks! angela rocks! =] yay!!! haha. falala~ oh man, shuang jie gun rocks lahh!!! whoo! continues blasting the music* sorry to my poor neighbour though. =X

oh gosh! the connection to internet just now suddenly have problem. bleargh, scare me. if dun have money liao then my da jie will kill me. haha, just now that message points down*, i carn believe im so bo liao to do that. =S but i do need help heh.

helpee!

2005-07-31T16:30:00.000-07:00

Argh!!! somebody please stop me from keep going online so much! i carn control myself lahh! fishball! wee, help me can?

blahh. stoopid com.

2005-07-31T16:00:00.000-07:00

argh!!! the comp!!! it decided to restart itself! OMFG. i hate it! stoopid comp! shua me! cheat my feelings. hais, diaow. anyway, it happened last nite lorhh. was talking to her halfway, then the comp restarted. i'm so madd. i din save the conversation lahh. boo. this is saddd man. sobs. argh! i shall save all my conversations when their halfway through in the future. hmm. this is wat i remember i got type. ' wah!!! im so bored! even though got chinese test to pia but im still bored. ' then i carn remember liao. hais. anyway, last nite was quite funny heh. apparently my da jie took my toy doggy to play with and she erm, kept smoothing and patting its tummy. and my reaction was u molest my doggy!!!. then she give me this innocent looking face that says where got??. then we started arguing liao. in the end mummy tell us both to shut up cos we very noisy. haha, but shes spastic. 27+ years old liao still play wif my soft toy. ahaha. lame larhh. but i rarely play with my da jie nowadays heh. hmm, i dunno how old my da jie, mommy and daddy are. sweats* hais. btw, mummy cooked green bean soup today. haha, so long never drink liao cos mummy's busy busy busy. arhh! i feel lyk saying this. im cute!!! =) haha, so is dar and angela. =] hmm, i'll stop being so fickle minded and just take the best of the two worlds heh. haha. im cute and i rock alot!!! haha. whee~ i carn wait to go school tmw! cos can see dar! and angela too. ahaha. i carn wait. haha, better go and do work liao. and im alone at home.

wee, i missed u! haha.

im not stupid. just that im not trying hard enough.

quiz team lyk totally rocks lahh!!!

2005-07-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

nyqt!!! we got champion! we won!!! first in zone quiz com!!! yay! we love quiz team u guys man! rock on!!!
yay!!! OMFG! haha, im lyk screaming and bouncing around lyk mad when i got the phone call from jiayi lorhh. and dearest jiayi for informing me! haha, and telling me bout the details!

st. johners. =)

2005-07-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

sj is a place that we belong. something that we can fall back on even when everything else goes wrong.

st. johners are the last to fall. (hurhur, for this one i carn really remeber heh.)

hmm, think that these are really meaningful quotes ehh. hais, today's not a very good day either. overall and afterall. tommorrow's quiz com liao. all the best to our quiz com ppl!!! =]

[xinyu]
[steff]
[lcpl yunlin]
[lcpl enqi]

jiayou!!! do ur best! =)

im weirddd today! argh! wats my prob.. stoopid elephant society.

2005-07-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

blah. im behaving very very weirddd today. i din smile. i din laugh. even if i did its not a genuine one lorhh. its just cause ppl keep bugging me, 'wats your problem', 'are u okay?' or stuff liddat. not that i dun lyk ppl to concern me lahh. but its just that i dunno how to say lorhh. i just dun feel very happy or very right either today. hmm, i din even go crazy over my dar this morning. just ban zhe my face and dunno do wat or thinking wat lahh. just totally dun feel anything bout everything. feeling bochap-pish over here. grr, wats wrong with me?? i really dun know myself!!! hais, after effects of yesterday's combine drill session. blah, i got lyk absolutely no comment. haha, so much for inter-ug uinity. lyk i care liddat. thanks to the elephant society, water came out from my eyes larhh. hars. wadever. oh, thanks to hushen, jiahui and jiayi. =) oh yar, and really really really very thanks to another for listening to my endless ranting and complaining. =) yupps, here's wishing u a very happy birthday!!! =) hugs* haha, ure mentally 6. this is funny. haha, ignore me. im have mood swings alot these few days.

im fickle minded.
everyday.
i just carn make up my mind.
greedy lorhh.
blah.
okies, correction.
i shall do my best to love u both alot.
but i carn promise that it'll be equal heh.
smiles*
im sorry.
im just fickle-minded.
i carn make up my mind.
and just pick either one.

icy blue`

2005-07-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

i feel sad. dun feel lyk talking even to her now. i dunno why. but i need to think and re-think. i dun want to think about the future. kept feeling very upset bout something. went eileen's house today. talk alot. i dun ever want to know the answers, i guess. this is a very cold day today. im feeling very cold inside too. maybe the heart's freezing up. cause it doesnt want to be hurt and feel the pain.

on a cold winter's night`
i see an apparation`
i wonder`
who's that?`

i wonder..

2005-07-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

argh!!! my tag-board's gone madd. hurhur. this song is very nice and sweet lehh. reminds me alot of nice nice memories. hais, ppl come and go in real life. but they are and will never be truly gone from our hearts regardless of what. all because.. ppl hold on tight and carn let go cause its hard to. its more xing fu living in a world that's fake, an illusion of what u deem the world to be. what you wanted most..

milo!!!

2005-07-23T23:43:00.000-07:00

hey!!! ahaha. im feeling very mad and hyper now!!! yay!!! carn stop smiling and laughing to myself. haha. oh man, u totally rock!!! haha, its proven that once u cheer me up, i'll remain very very happy and cheerful for the whole day long!!! even my mom scold me aso cannot dampen my happy happy mood!!! another too!!! thank kew! another rocks alot too!!! thanks alot both of u!!! ahaha. im so so xing fu now!!! its such a momorable day!!! i've done quite an in depth research in perankan culture. bla lbah. wadever and heck care. im just so happy in a very very good mood now!!! oh ya, heys fishball arh, i just tok to charcoal and she hugged her very own ahem* u noe!!! haha, its always a very magical feeling. that kind of feeling. its undefinable. its nice. its warm. it makes u happy, cheerful, smiley all day long! haha, im gonna give her and another stuff. boo, there goes my extra bit of money. but its all very worthwhile de!!! thank kew dar. thank kew another. thank kew charcoal. thank kew fishball. wat a happy dreamy day! haha, im going to go off to sleep liao. my eyes are closing liao. i love u alot alot alot!!! and another too!!! haha, i'll wave to u next time, another!!! haha, doubt u'll see. my day ended on a very high note!!! yay!!!

dar. =)

2005-07-23T13:10:00.000-07:00

stoopid er jie, keep snatching my com. but haha, i snatch it back liao. yay! this week was erm.. quite a bad and good one bah. monday was late for school, tuesday got cold liao and wednesday, due to the gong and blur after effects of cold, i forgot to bring my phone to school. blah, how blur can i get?? haha. anyway, the filming of the opening setting up of strecher was quite spasticated lolz. me and fishball were whispering to each other throughout. haha, could have done a zai-er job lehhs. oops, sorry to the ppl taking first aid liao. bah, throw nysjab's face away. =X hais. haha. but nysjab still rocks the most and forever!!! yay!!! haha. im crapping. been a quite good girl sort of. came early for the rest of the week to study before flag-raising. but ending up the times i open my mouth to talk and staring at my dar was quadraple the stuff that managed to go into my brain. haha. falala. my dar rocks! dun u dare disagree hor. oh yarr, wanted to go track and field meet one, shinyi too. haha, i love cheering. =) yay!!! cos got her mahh. sec 2 is the most enthu-iest year yupps. sec 1 is blur wat. haha. btw, couldnt go cos got first-aid retest that day. blah, felt a bit bad cos i think i din study hard enuf. guess i could have done a better job. after the test, stayed back in school to study and pia hw with jiayi, xinyu, elizabeth and hushen. hmm. was trying my best to help xinyu and elizabeth with their bao zhang bao dao. i think the school's mad larhh. do bao zhang bao dao. and zheng lao shi din even really say much. and the whole class is lyk still blur. hmm, i dun lyk zheng lao shi. she's very proud and doesn't know when to stop when it comes to certain things. thinks she very clever and smart liddat. and bious. if u suck up to her and laugh at her lame jokes then she wun scold u even when u dun pay attention. wadever. im sick of teachers who always try to crack lame jokes and make the students laugh, just lyk to make themselves popular. sucky ppl. this is weird. i started of with a falala mood then i end up being pissed. haha. next week sabbaticals!!! yay, got lots of time to pia hw liao. im very excited bout peranakan culture cos number 1, i haven do yet; and number 2, i found lots of info and now i dunno wat topic to do liao. all over the place. oh and gonna borrow to harry potter and the half blood prince from pek yee. haha, that's my birthday present from her. im fine with it anyway. blah, and still got that blasted math sia. my group haven even start. we're dead. ahurhur. pia!

sha sha pei zhe shou zhe zhen ming ni zhi de`
dan wo hui xiao zhe yin wei yi qie dou zhi de`

no.

2005-07-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

if you dun want, just say no.

i hate stoopid anthea.

2005-07-18T15:40:00.000-07:00

i hate stoopid anthea. stoopid anthea made me cry. boo hoo. sobs.

i feel sad.

2005-07-14T14:00:00.000-07:00

i feel very sad now. i just carn help being sad. and i hate u. u wun let me go. who do u think u are. i simply dun give a damn wat u say. wadever.

i love her alot alot alot.

she's just like..

the only person who cares for me in this world.

i hate it.

2005-07-14T13:55:00.000-07:00

did u ever know..
the pain of losing everything?

i want
time to stop at this very second.
things to pause at this minute.
memories flooding back at this hour.
and both of us to remain together forever..

can anybody give me that wish?

cause ure everything,
everything that i wanted..

dance nite '05!!!

2005-07-13T16:15:00.000-07:00

heyys!!! everybody please do do do come to dance nite'05 can?? i know for a fact that there's still lyk 100++ tickets available! so if u still want to come, just go and find any nynp ppl in ur class! haha, sec 1's who are on duty on dance nite, jiayou. =) we must make it a very very beeeg success!!! cos ug's organize de, and ug's rock alot man. =))

dance nite'05 is so gonna rock..
i'm sure of it.

but is tommorow an appropriate time to ask u for..

i dont know..
but i'll dare my own guts
challenge myself..

breaking the barrier of fear and curiousity..
shattering limits..

sorry. hmms, wat im talking bout in the above completely doesnt make sense. even to me either..

shatter..

what limits?

I feel so malu!!!!!

2005-07-09T07:03:00.000-07:00

wahaha. i feel so malu man. ahh! it's so paiseh. ahh! hah, i'm so sorry that i freaked u out as usual. but u also got freak me out too. ahaha. but anw, thank you. and i hope u never saw wat i wrote on that piece of fullscap paper. argh, what a malu thing. i feel like an idiot.

OMFG

2005-07-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

OMFG. my chocolate chip muffins rock!!! ahaha. i gave her a muffin. =)

oh ya. sorry for screaming my head off when u came down from the stairs. sorry.

some things are just not meant for you all to get involved in. when we have been desperately trying to forget it, bury the hatchet. forgive and forget.

nobody.

2005-07-02T17:55:00.000-07:00

i want u to hold my hand
and walk with me..
on this road called life.
even if its just one step,
i'll have no regrets.

no regrets loving u.

still feelin' insecure without u by my side, do i really have no regrets`

wahaha. impt days.

2005-07-02T17:50:00.000-07:00

wahaha. my house com has no internet!!! stoopid da jie! she refuses to top-up the account. btw, i shall blog in point form. =) copped this metod from sock one. ahaha.

camp was really very great though i din dedicate a post to it. =))
st. john's was fabulous too!!! yay!!! even ex-ncos say that too. =)
pop/rod was great. i never stopped eating or sat down. but my u ended up being covered wif chocolate ice-cream. ahaha. and thank kew to everybody who hugged me. =) oh ya, sock's very huggable. =]
st. john's 70th anniversary carnival was a success!!! can be reassured that i spent at least 50 bucks in coupons there. =) bought a balloon there. squadmates wrote messages on squad balloon. but it flew away. accidentally. oops. sorry guys, din tie the string tightly enough. =X

nobody told me it would hurt so much`

wahaha. impt days.

2005-07-02T02:26:00.000-07:00

thinks.

2005-07-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

thinking back wat i've just typed. i think that im sort of unreasonable and discredit-ting her sia. bleargh. >< maybe i'm just thinking too much and emphasising too much on this issue over here. and being yi sheng yi gui. hmm.. shall stop thinking. that's the best i can think of doing currently at this moment. logout. go offline. and go bath. then pack my cloths. and books. i do hope that dad comes before 9.30pm. i want a quiet move out, hey.

but seriously speaking. im feeling insecure. and disturbed. by this fact.

how long can we last together.

i dun want to think. stop thinking.

im very upset. im confused.

2005-07-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

im very upset now. everything around me is lyk undergoing major changes. i dun want it to happen. i dun want them to go. but i carn take control either. i just carn accept the fact that its their time to leave us le. and i've got to let go no matter what. or else the only person who's going to suffer will be me. but i carn just let go. i love them alot alot alot. and i'm really dreafully sad that they left us. i'm promise i'm gonna remember all of ur names and faces. forever.

huggs makes the world go round. =)

im confused now. u never said jiayou to me yesterday or today. it din really hurt that much. maybe cos i was occupied. with other feelings for my roomates, u, boots and everything. which starts to make me feel and doubt that i really do lyk u as much as i thought before. deepening the doubt between us. maybe im really not that mad bout u. maybe, just at that moment of time. u happen to be the one i saw quite often. hungry for attention. i just clutched on. ahurhur. i dun noe. and im scared that i'll be going head over heels again with somebody that i used to lyk alot alot alot. and i noe i'll be just as hurt cos she wun be around for long le. huggs do make the world go round. but did those few huggs re-kindled the passion and lyk for that somebody? i dun noe. i seriously dun noe.

worse comes to worse.

maybe i'll choose to forget.

but i'll never totally forget u.

u'll just exist in my heart.

the chamber of my heart that was frozen.

my beeg day, tmw..

2005-06-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

i am so nervous!!! helpee!!! i carn concentrate during lessons. watever, from history to pe. either i fall asleep or i will be busy worrying bout tomorrow. and i'll feel lyk jumoing up and down or something. and my heart will be lyk beating till chao fast and will lyk feel my heart going to jump out from my mouth liao. bleargh. >< helpeee. i think i have depression-over-worrying disease. wahaha. i wun be surprised if i spend another sleepless night tonite lorh. lyk the nite before camp liddat. din even sleep a wink. not that i dun have time. (aha, still stuffing stuff into my bag at 3 till 4.) but i really carn fall asleep lorh. stoopid fire bell rang today. blast this dumb school. fancy having fire drill the day before sj day. crazy ppl. crazy school. lucky i din faint. bah. ahaha. but be casualty, as usual, is always very very shuang. was lyk wrestling rebaca and jiayi cos i keep wanting to sit up to see my dar walking back into school. but its suppose to hurt if i really have right thigh fracture. ahaha. wadever. the bell ring liao. ite end le. no time to blog le.

all i want for tomorrow is a jiayou from u.

mid-summer's night dream..

2005-06-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

run run run,
ahead of everybody,
suddenly at a turn,
i saw u..

i stare at u,
u stare at me.
just for that second..
we laid our eyes on each other..
that brief moment,
everything around us stopped..

snap.
did the electricity started flowing..
or was it just my imagination.
maybe only a mid-summer's night dream..

me!!! and eileen too. gemini's rock the world!!!

2005-06-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

June

Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating. Tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

Take the quiz: "What'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=1988">"What does your birth month reveal about you?"

heys, eileen!!! check this out!!!

ahaha. okies, let's dissect how true this thingy is..

1. Thinks far with vision - erm, big mistake. i dun. sigh.

2. Easily influenced by kindness - yar. sumtimes bah. but there's a line between 'influenced by kindness' and 'sucking up to ppl'. which i carn stand.

3. Polite andsoft-spoken - sumtimes. not all the time though. and depends on who u are sia.

4. Having lots of ideas - quite true. i have alot of ideas when it comes to sumthing that doesn't concern maths and science.

5. Sensitive - at times. and towards certain ppl.

6. Active mind - except during class time.

7. Hesitating - who doesn't? at times.. when it comes to certain things..

8. Tends to delay - haha. juz look at how much homework i din hand in and handed in late.

9. Choosy and always wants the best - i want my dar, my candle. =)))

10. Temperamental - yupps. sudden change of mood. mood swings.

11. Funny and humorous - ahahaha. yes. me and eileen. haha.

12. Loves to joke - at stuff that are joke-ble. but sum things, i still mean business.

13. Good debating skills - wahseh man!!! this is totally wrong. i am very crappy. and my brain process very

S L O W one.

14. Talkative - ahahaha. too true le. gemini's are all very noisy and loud one. yay!!! gemini's rock the world!!!

which means me and eileen rock the world. ahaha. =]

15. Daydreamer - everyday. yes. its a great hobby.

16. Friendly - ahaha. i am over- friendly. haha.

17. Knows how to make friends - not really. but then again yes. more lyk the first impression, gut feeling and the magical 'click'.

18. Abiding - huh? O.o?? wats that?? anybody care to tell me??

19. Able to show character - hmm, i dunno. dun ask me.

20. Easily hurt - this is true. i'm emotional. and i crumble easily when it comes to emotional problems.

21. Prone to getting colds - hey!!! this is weird. but its true!!! i always get colds when i was young. ahaha. but not so much now, luckily.

22. Loves to dress up - haha. okies, i do.

23. Easily bored - yar. i am bored now.

24. Fussy - not really eh. hmm.

25. Seldom shows emotions - hmm, i show to who i show. or else back off. or u'll get it from me. i want my own privacy.

26. Takes time to recover when hurt - yar, time always helps to heal. but there're sum things u juz forget in life..

27. Brand conscious - no!!! i am not!!! violent objection.

28. Executive - another alien word. but it sounds lyk sumthing that has to do wif 'doing work' or 'hardworking'. blah.

29. Stubborn - haha. yes. sumtimes.

sch sch sch. ahahaha.

2005-06-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

1.What's your age now? 14.
2.Which school are you in? nygh.
3.Which class are you in? 2/3 '05
4.what role do you have in your class? sleep in class and day dream.
5.how many best friends do you have in your class ? 1.
6.Do you have any god brothers in your class? nah. primary school maybe yes bah. haha. bubbles. his older than me for 3 days. haha. his nice. we sat together for 2 years. p5 and p6. haha. good old memories. =))
7.What do you do when you first arrive sch? wander around lolz. its so so big compared to my teeny-weeny primary school.
8.Where is your favourite part of the school? canteen benches!!! sj room!!! parade square!!! basement!!! the ug corridor!!! toilet!!!
9.What is your favourite subject? -nil-
10.how many people are there in your class? 36.
11.Who is always absent? me!!! i'm sitting there but my mind is always wandering off to sumwhere else. haha.
12.Who do you seat with in class? karene, claire, zeena, meng yuan, marrissa!!!
13.What time is your recess? wahaha. believe it arnot. i carn remember when's my recess time!!!
14. Do you bring your handphone to school? duh. yar.
15.Do you have a friend in each level? yupps.
16.Which is your least favourite period? all subjects.
17.what do you bring to sch everyday? me, myself and i, without my brains though. oh ya, and my passion for nysjab!!! =)))
18.Do you like your school uniform? okies larh. not bad. but i love my sj u alot. watever u it is. ahaha. =]
19.do you like maths? nopes.
20. Any last messages? yes!!! yay!!! ya, nysjab rocks alot and it rocks my life. my fbi. i love my squadmates and seniors!!!! =)))

cpb..

2005-06-15T16:10:00.000-07:00

very bored now. and i lost phone!!! anybody saw my phone?? its a blue nokia 2-dunno-wat- model. sobs. very sad. i carn find my phone. haven tell my parents yet. they're gonna kill me. when to checked out wat the hell are cpb badges and lyk why the ncos say hmm.. we need to work on them?? ahaha. hey, squadmates!!! can go this website to check out wats cpb thingy is..
**points sideways. nah. go here. -> http://www.sjab.org.sg/cpbsys.html and u click on wat u want to find out bout and explore bah. hmm, i think air rifle, canoeing and archery looks fun. hmm.. i want to learning shooting!!! ahaha. okies, actually i think dalt rocks too. nearly joined np when i was in sec 1. cos of shooting and dalt. hmm, but sj rocks man!!!

p.s. : 38 jiayou for training camp. =))

squadmates jiayou for our coming camp too. squadmates' effort in their groups sure will be appreciated by seniors and juniors alike. =] and amazon's gonna rock campfire nites!!! i carn wait for camp!!! 5 more days to sj training camp '05!!! yay!!!

my angel's gonna go camping liao. sobs.

2005-06-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

ahahaha. she's gonna go camping sia. sobs. waseh man. i will seriously miss her and shall be thinking of her all day long. =] no, i shall camp in school!!! so i can look at her all day long. X) haha. no larh. cannot disturb her having fun and doing her duties sia. and maybe i'll miss another too. cos she says she's gonna tok to me after camp then. haha, another's nice. =) but she's the nicest. =))) okies, good larh, at least i'm not going head over heels for another. wahaha, gonna copped it out from her how come she noes it one arh, since she din tell her. i really wonder who it was sia. hmm. entrusted u to another. i trust that she will take good excellent care of u. =] love u. and take care.=] safe trip. =] i shall be popping around to see u if i have the chance. ahaha. X)

u must take care of urself okies?
and come back in one piece.

cos if u dun..
i might shatter..
into a miliion pieces..
and scattered into the wind.

i carn say how much i luv u..
but i'll be worried for u.

blah blah blah.

2005-06-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

blah blah blah. i'm getting really really really frustrated and easily irritated nowadays. die. i dunno why. PCS. post-camp-syndrome, as rebaca and yijing puts it. there is really alot of freaky things to do. and i dun feel lyk doing. argh. wats my problem?? maybe i should juz snap out of it. it makes me very fen xin. everyday reach home juz carn wait to on the comp and wait for her. and always ended up doing nothing. and slack in front of the com. and i still got alot of bloody home work and sia to do. this is so so so stoopid. wat sia. so much for self-intiated assesment. every time still end up the teachers push us to do our work. crap. rubbish. groundless speculation. today is a bad bad bad day. i dun want to blame anybody. cos i dunno. dun think its anybody's fault. or u can say its everbody's fault. doesn't make a difference and dun see the difference. bloody hell. i juz feel lyk cursing and cursing and cursing all the swear words now. blah. bad example. my mom's scolded me today. shut up lor. i feel damn irritated. really feel lyk banging on the table and tell her to shut up. i mean wat does she noe. all she noe is to scold scold scold. and work work work. she doesn't even understand how i feel lorh. u think i lyk to travel back and forth everyday arh. no larh!!! its not fun lah. wat the hell. u think everything is i want one arh. if i can choose, i can aso choose to heck care wat. u tell me that i must be responsible for everything. now u tell me to heck care bout sj. yar. mom, u're a walking paradox and a irony. watever.

i follow my own path.
i've got my own compass.
so shut up.
and back off.
cos u wun have a say in my life.

toy soldiers

2005-06-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

step by step,
heart to heart,
left right left,
we all fall down like toy soldiers..

Bit by bit,
torn apart,
we never win.
battle wages on,
for toy soldiers..

bah. watever.

2005-06-09T14:45:00.000-07:00

i am feeling very slack and bo chap now. diao. i dunno larh. very xian now. gonna slack. but aso gonna stop slacking. i will go do my math hw that my math tutior give me. i feel very xian now eh. and very lazy. slack slack slack. i want to vent my unhappiness and frustration on sumbody. i carn possible throw my phone (which sumtimes i badly want). hais, i want to be an nco. then can control ppl. take over cca. and be the one who's gonna boss ppl around for a change instead of ppl doing this to me. i feel lyk being a control freak. bah. control control control. it feels great. i am sadistic. i want to boss ppl around. it will feel great for a while. blah. wats happening. i am turning very xiao now. she's online but she's busy. haha. hais. went poking round the ivle yearly calendar juz now. saw the day labelled 'choral and drama nite'. wonder will she come and see me perform arnot. hais. i dunno. maybe until that time i already got over and not mad bout her le. haha. was reading her squadmates's bloggy juz now. haha. very interested to noe who she really is. blah. but i hope i dun end up going head over heels for her. but she seems very nice. and she thinks alot. has a good brain of her own. hmm. haha. read her past entries and found lyk pieces of me bah. and she was scared that she will forget her. then i juz realise that i'm scared she will too. but now i dunno larh. dou is senior le. haha. links back to why i want to be an nco now. haha. okies. i am not a control freak. tomorrow got youth forum thingy. and she's going for it. i am doing public duty. i hope i can see her. wun even mid if i can only sit and stare at her. but i am very greedy. i am busy now le.

i am a right brain!!!

2005-06-09T13:10:00.000-07:00

wah!!! i am so right brain sia!!! haha, no wonder my studies so bad and suck lyk xiao liddat. haha..

You Are 15% Left Brained, 85% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

rubbish..

2005-06-09T00:55:00.000-07:00

i am feeling very slack now so i shall only blog rubbish. haha. shit. the phone bill's come le. and i kena scolding le. heck care. i'm gonna heck care. this sucks. then u buy me a m'sia handphone line larh. if u dun me to use so much. i am gonna heck care for everything for the time being.

where are u?
i want to talk to my angel..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

me me me!!!

2005-06-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

The social butterfly of the Zodiac has lots of friends. In fact, the Twins should have twice as many as any other Sign. One side of a Gemini will want to go hang-gliding and run around outside, while the other is keen on sitting cozily at home and playing a board game. Their friends need to be as diverse as they are in order to keep up, or they just need to know when to let Gemini go free. The Twins can bond well with lots of different kinds of groups. If they get bored with one set of people, they always have a few more groups that will be more interesting -- for awhile. Gemini is a sociable creature who enjoys having friends. If you can match their pace and mercurial temperament, you and your friend will have a blast. The best way to develop a bond with a Gemini is to make an intellectual connection. Interested in exploring anything at all? Take along your Gemini pal and enjoy the new perspective they give to even the most ordinary situations. If you can match wits with this one, they'll respect your intellect and work to develop this worthwhile friendship.

wat eileen and i agree.. X.x

2005-06-04T18:05:00.000-07:00

"There's a lot more to you than meets the eye, so don't let other people try and define you. You've got big plans and the means to make them happen. Don't just dream it, be it."

"Gemini is the third Sign of the Zodiac, and those born under this Sign will be quick to tell you so. That's because they love to talk! It's not just idle chatter with these folks, either. The driving force behind a Gemini's conversation is their mind. The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never!"

that's me. haha, i think its accurate bah. on the general but dun go into details. hmm... i juz wonder...

burfday..

2005-06-04T00:10:00.000-07:00

happy burfday to me. i am offically 14. i shall change my profile's age to 14. happy burfday.

but who cares?
and who remembers?
i dun expect her to remember..
but i do hope others will..

懂得

2005-06-04T00:05:00.000-07:00

懂得保護..
懂得珍惜..
懂得把握..
懂得即時..

ren hen qi guai..
yao dao le shi qu shi..
cai dong de zhen xi..

where is my angel?

angels..

2005-06-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

where's my angel?

the angel who gave me my wings..
the angel who made me happy..
the angel that made me shine..
the angel who made me hurt..
the andel who made me cry..
the angel who made my life meaningful..
more meaningful than ever..

u're my angel..

camps!!! personality overload!!!

2005-06-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

i carn wait for nco camp!!! be an nco and become a control freak!!! i carn wait for sj camp!!! wah, i'm gonna burst wif excitement!!! i really carn wait for camp!!! wahahaha, i'm so so jealous!!! i aso want go camping at pulau ubin!!! so fun larh!!! i want to kayak!!! wahahaha!!! cam camp camp~~ lalala... yesh. and i carn wait to paint our group flag!!! yunlin, u buy the paint, cloth and everything le marh??! wahaha, i want more camps!!! bah, even though my holidays are damn chocked full. haha. i want camps!!! haha. ignore me. i have SERIOUS PERSONALITY OVERLOAD. haha. camps rocks!!! i carn wait to have nco camp and sj camp and all sorts of camps!!! yay!!!

X.x

sumbody said squadmates are more impt than u..
but i think both are equally impt..
i carn live without both..
so dun tell me to choose..

i carn live without squadmates..
and u..

i'm anit-math too!!! X.x

2005-06-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

haha, going for math tuition afterwards at 3. hmm, shall see my chao nice math tutor again. X.x haha, poor tutor will be bombarded by all my holiday math homework that i dunno howta do. X.x haha, his's a good tutor. hmm, haha. X.x can see she's anti-maths too. haha. X.x okies, i feel wierd cos she appears to be guai kia wat. X.x haha, okies, guai kia's are human too. but think very funny, her complaining bout maths. but din see her last nites after all... hais, actaully cum to think of it, my sis not that bad after all le. maybe its juz that i'm so over-reacting cos i desperately want to see her. hmm, anyway finish reseaching bout david marshall for history sia last nites cos my sis helped me. tonites shall call and go kacau ppl for yimin's or mingyi's number and arrange a time to meet. bah, i still have alot of sia to do. yuck, i hate sia. pointless rubbish. groundless speculation. blah.

ALL the sia + group work + blah i have to do : X.x
1. history + lang arts sia - call ppl to meet.
2. math sia - go school library and search for sum interesting math topic.
3. geo and science sia - i shall call sharon tonites. shee teng!!! X.x
4. chinese portfolio - my com has no chinese software... sobs. hmm, school library.
5. chinese culture report - history of kuai zi!!! but i need chinese software!!! sobs. unless sumbody tell me i can submit them in english. blah. X.x

another day wasted..
i din see u..
but i noe u'll say..
there's always a tomorrow..

the anti-maths angel..

X.x

i am truly lost..

2005-06-02T23:10:00.000-07:00

i am truly lost..
lead me out of all this confusion..
i only want to be wif u..

but where are u?

i am crying deep inside..
despair..
desperate..
cries out loud..
for ur help..

where..
are..
u..
?

dammit.

2005-06-02T22:45:00.000-07:00

wat the hell!!! i HATE my sis!!! why is she always liddat!!! she always hoggs the comp, she always hogg the phone. she always gets wat she wants!!! wat her bleeping problem??! her world only revovles around her and her bleepy boyfriend larh. for god's sake, her boyfriend is not at all shuai, dashing or zai lorh!!! all she does at home is to sleep, eat, msn and wif her bf. wat else can she do arh?? i hafta help out wif bits of housework. and when she wakes up, she messes everything up!!! i'm going to go nuts!!! wat kinda sis is that anyway. i really feel lyk slaaping her across the face. juz becoz dad, mom and her bf pampers her means that the rest of the world does. she's freaking irritating larh!!! i carn stand her le!!! if she can go online for lyk god noes how long and to god noes how late juz to tok to her frewds and her bf, why carn i?? i have hk to worry about too!!! and i really want to noe her better too wat!!! this is so not fair. she always does wat she lyks and no need to care for the rest of the world. she can lyk fail her overall lyk xiao and dunnit to care. and mom wun yell at her either. i am really going freaking nuts and damn pissed wif her. why carn i have sumbody else for a sis?? why muz i have a sis who only pisses me up and helps me land into touble. wat the hell. dammit.

great..
now she's offline le..
thanks alot..
some kind of sis.

BACK OFF..
i am VERY EXPLOSIVE now..
dun make me BLOW on u..
u wun lyk it..
neither will i..

unless u're her..
she'll noe wat..
and how to deal wif me..

now BACK OFF...

wah??!

2005-06-02T15:40:00.000-07:00

wah!!! i am so shocked!!! X.x logged into friendster juz now. found out steff ma'am is under my angel's friends orh. wah!!! still very shocked. coz my angel and steff ma'am is lyk so so different lorh!!! X.x chao different lorh!!! they really noe each other meh??! hehe, might consider adding her arh... hmm, but might be dangerous. hmm, okies, i shall ask eileen for advice!!! haha, btw, got alot of ppl in my account noes steff ma'am and cheryl ma'am. ahahaha, i am always so greedy. haha. X.x okies. the song Jewel Song by boa is very nice. X.x lyk it very nice. very peaceful. and got nice melody. X.x i feel very bored now. i shall go and redo cd 6.1 again afterwards. but i'll cum back tonites. coz of her.

take the initiative..
it doesn't kill u..

jewel song
*************
u remember..
time go by..
u are my gem..
yesterday u remember..
gem in my heart..
dreams come true..
no..
i carn forget u..
dream my angel..
so..
i carn forget u..
gem in my love..
dreams come true..
forever u are in my heart..
************************

fairytale..
to be continued..

fairyland in reality...

2005-06-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

the fairytale's juz started..
coz she had juz appeared...

but i dun have the courage..
lets not wait till the day that i have courage..
coz that might be forever..

go..
fly..
now..
she'll give u ur wings...

i want my veg!!!

2005-06-01T20:25:00.000-07:00

my mom's so argh. during dinner we go outside to eat main fen guo and she took 3 quarters of my veg lorh!!! the main fen guo already got no liao le and she still take my food!!! i am pissed. summore she say she will only take a little bit only. then finish almost all my veg then cum and ask me i have enuf food to eat arnot. abviously not larh!!! use ur common sense larh. summore always say i stoopid. bleargh... yuck. i juz finish dinner but i am still FREAKING HUNGRY!!! sumbody gimme food!!! i really very hungry lorh. i am still quite pissed. hmm, yesh. been missing shee teng alot. hello shee teng!!! u see this?? i hope u are still fine too. told sharon to look after u for me last time on the phone. and her squadmates too. haha, b38, u all juz look after one another and each other kies le. X.x yupps.

xingfu-ness gone...

where are u?
nvm, i'm cuming back tonites...
u'ld be there?

blog blog blog, missed u...

2005-06-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

wah, i blog ALOT nowadays. maybe coz it helps me not to miss her too much. but sit down quietly, u'll find that u missed her alot.

你的我童话里的那个天使

hmm... new blogskin!!! nynp b38 jiayou!!!

2005-06-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

hmm, a handful of hearts... change blogskin le coz alot aso change le. haha, its black. black again. hmm, was trying to find a white one or sum other colour one. hais, din succeed. sobs larh. but i think this blogskin really very nice. and the layout is very nice too. user-friendly. X.x oh ya, nynp b38 jiayou for ur camp. X.x will miss all u. X.x seriously. X.x and everybody jiayou for watever camp u have. hais, i miss everybody now. esp her. oh ya, amazon de, Sgt. Ruth say we MUST tell her when u're gonna have our meetings and where coz she needs to noe. so attention here!!! eileen!!! geor!!! (haha, if u happen to read.) see it, rites?? oops, how cum and since when did my blog turn into sum kinda of fancy notice board arh?? haha. think is very funny. okies, i shall tagg this piece of impt info on my tagboard. X.x

*oh, and i find fault wif this blogskin le!!! the latest posts of the day get posted at the bottom!!! which is not good at all coz i blog alot in a day. X.x

**the last post have 12 X.x. haha. X.x

stalk stalk and stalk... X.x

2005-06-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

hmm, yesterday woke up at 5.30am and reached school at 7 lorh. so early lorh... haha, btw, the meeting was suppose to be at 9.30am larh and i thought it was 8.30am. dots me larh. haha, saw jingyi, who aso happen to be the only human being i tok to in school until 9. haha, got see other ppl i noe lyk ncos. hmm, helped jingyi wif her math wksht 6.1 and type 1 sms for her to shiyun. XD haha, then me and jingyi started crapping. haha, then jiahui came along. yupps, and both of us continued being boliao there. haha, then jingyi toking on the phone and walk walk to the quadrangle. and i pull her hand and walk here and walk there in the quadrangle, walk up the podium and walk down the podium. da da da... haha, then suddenly we walk facing the canteen and jingyi suddenly say 'eh, she's up there leh, at the 2nd floor there.' then i perked up and look towards the 2nd floor and it was really her lorh!!! got the shock of my life sia. haha, she very funny, look here look there one. but carn blame her larh, she's been stalked my me so many times le lorh. wahahaa, then dragged jingyi up the 2nd floor to see wat she's doing. haha, and she was wearing pe shirt and ny skirt. very weird leh, haha, but probrably i not use to it larh. hmm, she was carrying this pink file and papers. haha, looks damn busy, as usual. was busy telling jingyi not to drag her feet but she thought i told her to tok softer to the phone. dots. haha, she blur until very funny. oh ya, then she walk to sumwhere and we thought she went sumwhere, so went there to look for her. of course din find her lah, then she suddenly popped out from nowhere and head to the sec 4 classrooms there, then walk pass the sec 2 classrooms there. haha, then we followed on. haha, i think all seniors have this radar that can sense juniors within a certain area sia. hmm, when she walk, she tilted and half turn her head left and right. oh ya, and jingyi scare me when she suddenly pulled me into one of the class door there were its curved it liddat one. she said wat, we need to duck or else she will see us, sumthing liddat yupps. haha, but when she walk to the end of the corridor, she turned her head and saw us lorh. coz we din duck. wah, so pai seh larh. but she continue walk towards library there. rushed to library but din see her on the 1st floor. yupps, met anthea there. decided to spare her from further stalking. i mean she aso very can larh. everyday kena stalked by me, very insecure one eh. summore in the library, so i guess she needs to do work bah. then jingyi started toking to the librarian person and started chatting and explaining wat happen to anthea's lost book that made her land up doing duty in the library. then cum out, jingyi tell me she wasn't at the library coz she saw her walk to the eng dept there. but i saw her walk towards the library there. O.o?? hais, end up i leave her alone bah. i'm shall be very nice to her coz i dun really have much time left wif her le, cum to think of it. summore, group meeting starting le. yupps, that's the most impt part. haha. oh ya, i was the only one in my group who did the flag design!!! wat happen to the other ppl's one arh?? X.x haiyo, i dun really mind sia. but juz muz contribute in one way or another. X.x ya, my 2 original cheers aso got accepted. X.x haha, me and eileen kept insisting that the group flag colours to be anything but purple. hehe, evil grins** oops, sorry yunlin. noe u luv purple alot but purple juz doesn't show against a black background sia. X.x hey, i think this smiley face very cute eh!!! even though its not smiling... X.x copped from shee teng one, haha. X.x oh ya, halfway through the group meeting, Sgt. Celestine came and offered us chocolate cake and muffins!!! the chocolate cake was very yummy sia. X.x thanks alot!!! thank you!!! X.x oh ya, this post i type it half today and yesterday. couldn't finish it yesterday nites coz my mom and sis wanted to watch sum cartoon thingy on the com from the vcd bout bai jia xing. haha, end up the ancestor of lin is dunno wat. haven been really paying attention coz i very tired. doze off to sleep after i watch halfway. haha, but got say bout only 1 person whose surname is lin that his a very good guan and he made his men trashed the opium that the british brought in wif their ships. X.x oh ya, most ppl in china's surname is zhang. whoa, i new it was zhang lorh. thought it might be lee or lin or sumthing else. coz zhang, lyk not very alot ppl got that surname. X.x ya lorh, they wanted to watch that thing, my sis kept shoo-ing me to get offline lorh. and she was online lah!!! wat the hell lah... sobs, couldn't say good bye to her. haha, this whole post have about, i think 30+ this kinda smileys. haha. X.x not much le lorh... better go off first le, then tonite cum back to see... X.x

**it ended up that i'm rites and jingyi's wrong!!! coz rebaca saw her in the library. haha, i new she was in the library larh!!! i saw her go there wat!!! X.x

grr... bah.

2005-05-31T22:50:00.000-07:00

bah. everything i typed dissapeared!!! bleargh... okies, i shall retype coz its all very impt. X.x

xingfu-ness wif a question mark...

2005-05-31T00:15:00.000-07:00

do i honestly freak u out?
do i honestly freak u out that much?

shooting.
shoot you.

i'm already shot.

xingfu-ness in a while..
xingfu-ness in a whirl..
xingfu-ness in a mess..
xingfu-ness..
ending wif...
a question mark....

天使

2005-05-30T20:18:00.000-07:00

我愿变成童话里你爱的那个天使
i hope that's true for me.

u...

2005-05-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

where are u?
i missed u a lot.
would u be there for me?
i believe so.
do i mean sumthing to u?
yes, bah.

carn wait to see u.
coz
u have a special place
in my heart
that nobody
can take over...

seeing u smile
juz makes me
wanna live on
and go on
non-stop.

life seems more meaningful
because of
u...

la passione nella vita...

but when will i see u again?
how long will i still have to wait?

>.< grounded

2005-05-28T13:10:00.000-07:00

i am grounded. i muz be a guai kia. camp briefing le, i'm in group A, Amazon wif eileen. but i still think that aqua or aspire sounds nicer. quite worried that my mom won't even let me go for group meeting on tuesday. hais, i'm banned from using the comp and tv. but now my mom's not home. seriously look forward to camp coz i carn wait to leave the house and stop thinking bout math and science and blah, and focus on footdrill and first aid and stuff. yesterday pt was one of the best i ever did. when we fall in in the canteen she was at the 2nd level looking down. and i saw her too. i have sharp eyes. haha. hmm, was wondering whether was she looking for me arnot. coz she was lyk look look look. but i doubt she saw me heh. coz i was the last row and more inside the canteen. usually for pt, i'm always at the back one coz too lazy to go and squish wif ppl into the middle. then when pt started, i run run run and keep cutting ppl coz i wanted to run faster faster. dunno why. then when i finished running the 1st round, have already cut to the front there, behind sgt. meiqi. and have this beeeg urge to take over her coz i juz want to keep running faster and faster. later sgt. meiqi moved away and tell us the ppl at the front to keep running. then heard zijia yelling to me from behind to slow down, then i slowed down. then run run run, got sum sec 1's run till the front there. they wanted to over take, its okay. but then they over take le. they kept running faster lorh. tell them to slow down dun want listen, then yell at them to slow down and said u still have squadmates and seniors who carn catch up. yupps, muz never forget ur squadmates. and seniors. surprising remained at the very front for the 2nd and 3rd round. din even get stitch. maybe coz its her suddenly appearing and gave me encouragement. haha. hmm, or maybe i wanted to vent everything so i ran that fast. whichever.

but thanks coz anyway, u were there. =]

>.< i am bored.

2005-05-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

hmm, sj camp is cuming. =] haha, carn wait. so fun. really look forward to it. =] yay. and i hope that the ncos will knock sum sense back into my thick thick skull and chao retarded brain. then, i will stop being so slack and perphas wake up from this 'vicious-cycle' as jolene calls it. hmm, i think i'm in the progress of breaking out of it. hey, thanks jolene. =] yupps, noe that u're leaving us le... sobs, i dunno wat to say to u, but juz thanks coz even we rarely tok, u've been a really great and good friend. there for me when i fell into quicksand. =] haha. and today during maths, i tried my best to pay attention. haha, then when miss agnes say we can discuss our maths sia, went to find sheena and wake claire up. btw, she's always sleeping during math sia, yet she noes howta do lorh... yupps, we haven even started researching lah. very very pathetic. sigh. haha, then was so bored after discussing the general stuff for the sia, end up using the blue water squirter thingy that was in our class, have a beeeg hole summore. haha, used that to water sheena and water and water... haha, so entertaining. XD i'm evil. XD then, marissa poked a hole in her bottle cap ther, and started squirting water at jolene!!! haha, i was laughing lyk damn loudly lah. hehe, then we gang together and chase jolene here and ther and out of the class. then, me and marissa each stood at one entrance of the class lah... so evil. XD haha, playing lyk mad lorh. thensharon cum and ask me to go toilet wif her. started watering her lyk xiao. haha, refilled the holey water squirter and continued squirting sharon. go back class and watered jolene and sheena a bit respectively. X) haha. oh,then stopped coz i quite tired le. let sharon squirt at me for a change. snd she squirted me straight in the face larh!!! >.< haha, then start doing water graffiti behind the class on the floor. wrote her name. =] yupps. oh and helped vinette to write 'mayday rocks +a smiley face. =)' haha, happily playing until i forgot there was still cme afterwards. tmw gonna have a farewell party for jolene. hmm, jolene, jiayou in watever u do in the future, okies? =] ack!!! better go eat dinner le!!!

luv ya!!!

me?? O.o?

2005-05-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

Your #1 Match: INFP

The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #2 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #3 Match: INTP

The Thinker
You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

Your #4 Match: ISFP

The Artist
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #5 Match: ENTP

The Visionary
You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.
You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

What's" Your Personality Type?

haha, i lyk to do this kind of quiz stuff... haha.

yupps, u rock... no doubt bout that. =]

2005-05-26T18:40:00.000-07:00

hey, do u noe that u rock my world? do u ever noe that u keep me going on even till the very end? and u cheer me up regardless wat? all i want to say is thanks. thank kew for always being there for me even if u dun really noe me. haha, thanks. =]

me?? O.o?

2005-05-26T03:41:00.000-07:00

Your #1 Match: INFP

Your #2 Match: ENFP

Your #3 Match: INTP

Your #4 Match: ISFP

Your #5 Match: ENTP

What's" Your Personality Type?

ferly the jellyfish~~...

2005-05-24T21:10:00.000-07:00

i feel lyk i'm lyk drifting bah... sigh, i dunno. thinking bout sumthing... today, mao liang liang lao shi got tok to us bout himself when he was at school and everything... sigh, i guess wat he says is quite. has a point. yupps, lyk chinese speech. =] hahahahha, i got my biggest burfday present ever today. yay, muacks!!! can see its not cheap sia. thanks, sharon. luv u loads. =]

i am jealous. but actually not really that jealous. guess its my own fault. u took the move first but i din have or dare. i dun blame u now. i'm more pissed wif myself. i acted lyk a blabbering idiot. i feel so stoopid. but i aso learnt sumthing. i learnt that: never run away juz coz u feel paiseh. running away makes u a real idiot. i think i reacted okay when u suddenly popped into the corridor.
haha, ur actions very big leh. are u trying to see who's there. who's sitting there. wahaha, dun stare at me liddat!!! quite scary leh... haha, esp when u're... harhas, yupps. nvm, i'm not used to ppl staring at me sia. bit intimidating but, yah, at least u look at me and saw me. u still noe that i exist. thank you. =]

la passione nella vita.

i'm abnormal aka retarded...

2005-05-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

You Are 50% Normal
(Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

changes cum and go... troubles are lyk whirwinds... they wun let u off or spare u either...

2005-05-23T18:40:00.000-07:00

changes cum and stay...
troubles are lyk whirwinds...
they wun let u off...
or spare u either...
always be prepared...
expect...
the unexpected...

noticed that alot of things have changed... and they might never returned to the way they were. sigh, we use to be very close sia. play and eat together. but now when we see each other at home which is lyk once in a bluemoon... u're always very quiet. sigh and we never tok. when ppl leave, they change. u changed coz that's the path u chose. i changed too coz... that's the way i want to be.

when was the last time, we laughed and smiled together?
when was the last time, we played together?
when was the last time, we freak the hell out of each other?
when was the last time, we played the fool?
when was the last time, we got scolded coz of sumthing?
when was the last time, we did anything together?

i dunno how to answer them. there's a huge chunk missing from my brain.

dotsy quizzes...

2005-05-23T18:05:00.000-07:00

1. whats your handphone: haha, nokia-8-sumthing-dunno-wat. but its very common, blue colour one. and i luv my retarded phone. =]
2. your favourite physical feature: eyes bah, dun spend my spare time staring at ppl that much.
3. your favourite song: alot.
4. do you have a gf/bf?: wat do u think?? O.o
5. have your own room?: nope.
6. hates: alot of stuff. dun bother to list.
7. what are you doing now: typing larh! wat do u think?? haha, okies and listening to the graduation song. was doing variations juz now. =P
8. one thing you cant live without: my hk, comp and internet. haha. =]
9. where do you live: in lala land bah.
10. what would you do when someone tells you he/she likes you: might be shocked or so-so. haha, depends larh but i'll go nuts if she tells me that, which is lyk impossible.
11. how are you feeling now?: curious coz its 2.10 am in the morning, so late le but she's still online but away larh. she'd better be sleeping or else... hehe...
12. where do you hang out often?: j8
13. what are you good at: toking at not yet top-of-my-voice, slacking and kacauing ppl sia. =]
14. what is it about a person you cant stand: irritating, act cool buei cool, suck up, preachy ppl. but if u preach in paper, in words i will read one eh, u noe?? haha, i'm wierd.
15. what do you want: hk!!! haha, and to be happy everyday bah. =]
16. a word to describe you: loud. that's the first word ppl say bout me. but actually u noe me well enuf, u'll not that's not enuf sia.
17. whats your dream: to noe hk real well. =]
18. day/night: depends on my mood.
19. sunset/sunrise: depends too.
21. what is it about the opposite gender that attracts you: face and height.
22. are you an independent person: nobody is. lame question. -.-'
23. do you like school: nah, dun lyk studying juz for the sake of marks. yesh, i luv cca!!! i luv nysjab!!! i luv to go school coz can go cca and see my darlinks. =]
24. are you a control freak: wahahahahahhaha, i aso dunno. dun ask me.
25. are you naive: dun think so.
26. believe in God?: so-so. but pls dun ever preach about christiany stuff in front of me. i'll carn stand it and i'll juz tell you to shut up. i prefer to read bout it. so unless i ask u bout it dun start on it.
------------------------------stopped at 2.10 am, 23rd may 2005------------------------
27. what'll you do if you see your bf/gf hugging a girl/boy: i'll be shocked and demand to noe who that person hugged.
28. believe in fate: sumhow and sort of.
29. get pissed off easily: maybe but aso depends on my mood that day.
30.like your parents: can say no meh??! haiya, but sumtimes arh...
31. are you a materialistic person: not really.
32. believe in love: yesh and no. sumtimes.
33. how many piercings do you have: 4. 2 on each ear.
34. will you get a tattoo: nah and nopes.
35. do you smoke: no and will never. dun want to becum a stink bomb, thank kew.
36. prefer club or pub: neither nor.
37. do you go clubbing: not yet.
38. will you forgive your bf/gf if he/she cheats on you: depends.
39. will you expect your gf/bf to forgive you if you cheat on her/him: nopes.
40. have you been on a trip recently: trip to s'pore to m'sia and back, yes.
41. favourite country: dunno.
42. are u patient: yesh, quite.
43. which brands do you prefer: for wat stuff??
44. do you organise parties often: never organise a single party in my whole life.
45. do you have good friends: yupps. squaddies, ug mates and sum classmates bah.
47. do you care about looks: who doesn't??
48. do you think that you are a good gf/bf: ask him.
49. do you use vulgarities: when i'm really pissed.
50. do you quarrel with people easily: depends who that person is sia.
51. are you forgiving: most of the time, i guess.
52. do you get hurt easily: sigh, i guess so. i'm very sensitive.
53. do you prefer guys with long/short hair: short hair and not too long hair. haha.
54. do you prefer girls with long/short hair: both. got difference meh??
55. is your hair colored: no. i'll never dye my hair.
56. are you a romantic partner: ask him.
57. do you wear a watch: never but i bring a watch sia. aka my phone.
58. what color clothes do you like: no bambastic and straight into ur face colours.
59. will you choose love or $: haha, i want both!!!
60. do you prefer sleep or eat: sleep coz can dream of her. =]
61. white or black: depends.
62. pink or red: red.
63. favourite flower: any kind.
64. do you like to receive flowers: unless u're alergic.
67. favourite type of music: nice nice music and meaningful lyrics.
68. favourite past time: eat, sleep and daydreaming.
69. favourite drink: apple and aloe vera, green tea.
70. favourite phrase: haha.

haha, its the 3rd time le but...

happy burfday!!!

fly...

2005-05-23T11:45:00.000-07:00

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,
Fly over up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try,
cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

All your worries,
leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something,
when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,
Fly over up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try,
cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

And we're you're down and feel alone,
And want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute,
all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday,

Fly over up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to fly,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try,
cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

Any moment,
everything can change.

happy burfday, sharon!!! =]

i am so blur!!!

2005-05-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

i am blur. i am so blur. i am very blur. i am chao blur. i am super blur. i am really blur. i am ultra blur. i am mega blur. i am giga blur. i juz remembered that tomorrow's my best friend's bday. i juz remembered that tomorrow's sharon's bday. i din even remember it. it was lyk i'am damn bored so i went poking around ppl's blog. then happen to poke sock's blog, then went to nynpcc blog and go kpo. went to click on the routine order becoz i very bo liao then see under birthday greetings. saw lcp sharon lee zhao mei 23rd may. then was lyk *flashback* 'stares at screen, turns head to check calendar, turn back continue to stare at screen' *end of flashback*, then, oh man!!! tomorrow's her bday!!! arg!!! i forgot!!! i forgot her bday was tomorrow and i forgot to save money to buy her sumthing!!! bleargh... >.< i dunno wat i'am gonna give her... dots... I AM SO BLUR!!! sigh, i feel horrible for being blur. sobs, poor sharon. haih, shall call her tonight and say happy bday to her. =] that's the least i can do sia. haha, btw, i'm in m'sia. haha, quite happy larh, juz that i'm being cut off contact from frewds. sigh, cuming back means being subjected to tuitions. went for math tuition today and yesterday. =\ but my math tutor is a very nice patient teacher sia. yay, his very nice. =] the nice thing is he makes math seem so easy, so i'm gonna score well in my maths test for him and mrs lee. =] sigh, i have a very immature 18 year old er jie. noe wat she did??! yesterday nite, i was sitting downstairs doing variations in the dining table and got windows directly across me. then she was outside the house and she go to the window and yelled BOO! and i freak out and scream lorh!!! scold her afterwards lah. damn freaky lah!!! i was reading conan the 7th book before that and it was bout this long murder case bout a piano, the song moonlight sonata and scary murders... so creepy lah... yay, and my bro cum back le. =] yay, my bro rocks!!! his always damn nice, hehe... very tan and zai!!! =] haha, his the nicest bro in the world. =] gotta go eat dinner le, or else my mom will explode or i'll die coz i'am hungry...

Happy Burfday, sharon!!!

god bless...

2005-05-18T18:45:00.000-07:00

Did you know ???
Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person?
Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are realweak and most susceptible?
Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are theones that really need some one to protect them?
Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are : I love you, Sorry and help me.
The people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them,and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.
Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others companyor helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?
Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?
Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?
Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?
Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned two fold?
Did you know that those who need more of you are those that don't mentionit to you?
Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than sayingit to someone in the face?
But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?
Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?
Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?
Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling inlove, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and ifyou really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.
But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself, ifyou know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, you'll see that it will be returned in two-fold .
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD ALWAYS COUNT ON ME???...AT THE MOMENT, TIME AND PLACE THAT YOU NEED ME,CALL ME, I WILL BE THERE WITH YOU !!!!!
"One day, we will change the world...or we are already changing it " THE BALL IS NOW IN YOUR COURT...
If the world were to end in 24 hours, all the phone lines, chat rooms and e-mails will be saturated from people sending messages to others, saying:"I regret having made you feel bad", "Pardon me", "I love you", "I hold you in high esteem", take good care of yourself" and sometimes "I have always loved you, only I never told you".

mixed fruit veg salad in a mixed bowl...

2005-05-18T18:35:00.000-07:00

okies,had lotsa mixed feelings this week. dots, and sms a lot this week too, practically everday. lets start on mon, sabbaticals, drama appreciation. quite fun & cool ya. dun really need to do anything. haha. he lao shi teaching us. she's very funny & drama. haha. learnt more bout wat we're gonna do. actually, its juz sumthing lyk film studies but u're doing it in chinese, of course. watched half of lagaan. its a indian movie. yay, very nice movie, lyk it a lot. but i hate that damn captain russell. >.< very very qian bian. Philosophy, the chim stuff they were toking about in the lt was lyk damn boring lah... so xian, me & sharon were practically falling asleep. haha, so got mo qi. nipped to popular during the 15 min break, bought a snicker bar & the chewy cola sweets. haha, sharon owns me 2 bites of snickers!!! haha. i lyk the tutorial thingy!!! very interesting, we discuss about quite a lot of meaningful stuff. hmm, was starting to contribute & say out wat i think. not that scared, paiseh, intimidated in a 15 ppl group. feels more comfortable. but still feel sleepy sia. was drizzling out there. then, when we were ending it, bao bao brought up the subject of santanism thingy. sorry if sum ppl feel uncomfortable bout this. hmm, were saying that if this song, not very sure bout the title but i think is this, staircase or stairway to heaven. they were saying that if u play this song backwards, its actually praising santan. okies, yupps & mrs ng said that this kinda songs were lyk judged in front of a panel of judges & decided whether they contain satanism stuff arnot. she say aso certain songs by dunno wat beatles aso happened to be lyk that. sheesh, got goose pimples. and that ppl believe that if ur mind's empty, satan will enter it. that's why christians & catholicts kinda ppl dun lyk yoga ,taichi kinda stuff coz it empties ur mind. dots, occlumency does that too sia. no need to do room duty coz sgt. pauline they all dun have sj room key. then, din really eat lunch, juz ate 1 small bowl of curry veg. then, was busy complaining to shee teng that i din see her the whole day, wat if she gets abducted, blah blah blah. then, suddenly shee teng cum and say, dor, she's juz walking behind wat. thought she was kidding but apparently she wasn't this time. started laughing lyk mad & stalking her to the bustop sia. but never cross the bridge wif her lah. hahahhaha, she's still looks so cute man!!! haha, luv her loads =]!!! me & sharon din do our maths wksht 6.1 & we slacked in school the whole afternoon to do it but never manage to finish them at all. sigh, still got left 2 review questions & 1 challenging question. yups, and we went to her class to give her sumthing. duh, not personally larh coz she already go home le. but her classroom door locked le so i juz left it and the comp table there near the window, addressed to her yupps. dunno whether she got it arnot. but stoopid sharon keep saying she din get it. dunno sharon joking or wat lah... but hmm, let's juz be patient and see. then,slack sumore & go home. spent the whole prep time slacking & reading conan. tuesday, was a dotsy day too. had a pear for breakfast. quite fulling coz its damn hard to concentrate on the movie when u're hungry & i'm lazy to do things faster to eat breakfast. moreover, my mom constantly sends me fruits. yay!!! okies, remembered to bring shee teng's notebook that i had promised. was slightly dissapointed coz din see her when ppl flooded down to the quadrangle for flag-raising. then, after flag raising walking up the steps then realise that she was walking to the podium coz guess its her duty this week to jote down the latecomers sia. yeah, chong to the 2nd level podium then shee her saying the pledge. haha, look serious when she wants to be. =] but she's still as nice as ever!!! =] yupps, continued watching lagaan. of course the villages won the 3-day game of cricket against the british larh!!! and stoopid captain russell had to pay the 3 years worth of taxes by himself. hahaha. and he kena shipped off to central africa plus the british close down the cantonment. hehe, but felt real sorry for elizabeth ya. philosophy was not bad during the lt session one. watch chunks of saving private ryan. haha, we actually shouldn't watch it one coz its a m-16 or m-18 movie. haha, aiya juz becoz the ppl inside curse a lot. wat a stoopid reason. sum parts very grossed lyk when one allied guy was shot in the liver by the german. he bleeded lyk xiao lorh, his mates kept wiping off the blood then more blood ooze out. yuck, the most lotsa blood scene & kept continue bleeding scene i ever saw. its juz so shocking larh. the effect was lyk, even makes the ppl watching the movie very agitated & shocked. was actually quite sad. even thought the ppl bleep a lot but apart from that, the message of the movie was clear. juz proves that sumtimes there juz isn't a point in fighting & having war, killing ur own kind juz for a stoopid reason is really stoopid. a war kills so many ppl, wastes so much ammunition which equals to money & the economy definately goes down with it. sigh, and izzit worth it to send 8 ppl out juz to save 1 person's life? hmm, i dun think so bah. 1 private needs 8 ppl who sum were the same rank as the 1 life & sum even of higher rank to save. it juz doesn't really make sense. when u dun even noe whether that 1 private is still alive arnot and if yes, where is he?? sigh, and i think its best to not bring anybody else & promise to take care of them when u dun even noe whether u'll make it back alive. dots. yesh, tutorial, discuss, discuss, discuss... i am too lazy to continue blogging liao. full-stop.

i am lost.

2005-05-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

wat is going to happen to me. i dunno. either get kicked out of ny or ... i dunno. but really appreciated wat my darlinky, eileen & jolene said. thanks a lot man.

why u want to cut ur hair harh?? looks very ugly!!! i prefer ur old hair style... hehe, but still luv her lotsa. =] muacks. jiayou for tmw cca. =]

haha, dedicated to nynp b38, jiayou for ur neighbourhood thigy test tmw, k? the stack of notes look almost as thick as koto eh... but the koto notes words bigger larh... haha & more chimer...

that's wat frewds are for... they cheer u up when u're unhappy... and give u a helping hand when u need it... so remember, never hesitate to help a friend in need coz one day, u might need her indeed.

the world... crashing or juz revolving a little faster??

2005-05-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

i dunno wats happening. i still want to run away. i dun to stay. i dunno wat music i'm listening to. i shall try to go back fast. tmw's deathday. dunno wat will happen. but thanks to the people including my darling, who tried to brighten up my day. i'm listening to sum funny crappish music. but i am slighty amused.

really, one exam doesnt matter. as long as you work hard and prove yourself right, no one can discourage you. just continue to work hard. one day, your hard work wld pay off. you perform at your level, and not what others want of you. and dont care abt what others say. how others put u down. u are who u are, and people appreciate you for being who you are. but really, it's just how you perceive things to be. if you think your results are bad. your world is bad. wldnt it become real? they are humans too, if u actually think abt it. how can they be superior to you?

death seems to be the only solution...

2005-05-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

attention everybody, please kindly do not be alarmed if lam ferly does not return to nygh after the june holidays becoz she is probably kicked out of nygh. her results are damn lan & she nearly fails all her ca & moe will probably be taking away her scholarship. she might end up back from where she started or studying in a neighbour hood school. her sucky & bitchy guardian will definately not help her but wish wif all her heart that she will be kicked out asap. ferly will be dead on monday morning coz she is giving her test papers for her qian bian guardian to sign. her guardian is going to say that ferly never work hard & ferly will fight for her own rights & say she got work hard. her guardian will say that if got work hard that ur results wun be so lan. then ferly will say that she really got work hard & her guardian will pull out a knife from underneath the table & stab her. ferly will be deeply injured & moe will hang her then she dies.

this is so sucky. my results suck. everything sucks. i'm definately going to be kicked out of school unless sumbody lents me a time machine or sumthing. i dunno why but when i work hard, i still get very sucky results. i'm getting worse & worse. shit larh, & my guardian wants to see my test papers on monday. i will definately die. she is going to scold me & scold me & scold me & scold me & scold me. then, she wants to see my parents on parent teacher day. yuck, i am so dead. my parents are going to murder me. & i dunno wat my guardian will do to me. i hate my guardian & i wish that she will be knocked down by a car or sumbody will poison her or anything but juz kill her before monday. i hate her & i hate myself. i dunno wat to do now. sheesh, i feel lyk jumping off the building, close my eyes and walk straight across the road, slash my wrists, take 50 panadols before going to sleep, or juz anything. i juz dun want to go to school on monday. i am very scared. i very dunno wat to do. this sucks. it really sucks. my parents will be damn upset & my damn stoopid guardian will be adding sumore crap to de-grade me. i hate myself. i hate this world. i want to run away. i dun want to face anything. i want to start all over again but will anyone give me a chance? i will do better. i am sure. wat do exams & tests do for u at the end of the day? 'failing her tests & exams doesn't mean that she has failed her life coz she still has her entire life ahead of her. if the school decides to kick her out juz based on her tests & exam marks then u are the one who has ruined her life.' thanks mrs ng. these words do & did comfort if not a lot but at least a little. even if their meant for sheena. i dunno how to face my guardian. i hate her & she scares me a lot. i am trembling. i dunno wat to do. help. i might end up in mdm mak's office. i am feeling very troubled & i feel that i will burst sooner or later. i feel lyk crying everything out. i dunno wats going to happen to me. i am damn scared. i feel suicidal. i am lost. i have nothing. let the world end for me. my world is going to end. it will self-com bust. i dun want to live coz i am scared. i dun have the courage to face it. i want to run. to run away from it. from everything. i dun have a identity. i dun noe who i am. can i juz leave. i dun want to live. its so scary. i carn take it. i wan to leave. i dun wan to live. i dread monday & its cuming. i dun want to live to see, to take everything. i want to live in my dreams. juz let it be it. i am a failure and always a failure. forever a failure. i have nothing good. everything is bad. i hate it. i am juz another idiot living and breathing in this world. one less won't make a difference. i want to sleep forever. i dun want to wake up. i want to run. run away. run to my dreamworld. where i sleep forever. nobody says i am wrong. nobody says i am a failure. there is forever hope. and dreams will come true. i dun want to live.

as we go on... sumtimes, its best not to remember... sum things... certain things...

2005-05-07T18:55:00.000-07:00

He said life has to go on. There's a time to cry, a time to laugh. But after crying don't forget to always continue with our life and 'return to normalcy'.He said life has to go on. There's a time to cry, a time to laugh. But after crying don't forget to always continue with our life and 'return to normalcy'. He also said that some of us probably had not had such a hard test since pri sch till now, but don't let this small test get us down. no matter how horrible and shitty the test is.

He also said that some of us probably had not had such a hard test since pri sch till now, but don't let this small test get us down. no matter how horrible and shitty the test is. He said that 204 had always been the best to him. had been. still is and will always be. how comforting. he said he had never insisted us to get some best class, cleanest class or punctual class blah blah. He also took the opportunity to tell us bout integrity. no matter what integrity was still most impt.

hmm, been reading celia's blog... think that wat mr tan said was quite meaningful. =] bout the 204 part thingy... well, i think mrs would aso say & feel the same thing, '203 had always been the best to her. had been. still is and will always be. she had never insisted us to get some best class, cleanest class or punctual class blah blah'.

understanding is a very wonderful thing that exists inside ppl. nobody is completely bad or evil in them, even though sumtimes we hate ppl for doing certain things & thank them coz of sumthing. But let us remember one thing, no matter how mean or bad sumtimes that person is, she is still a human being & we make lots of mistakes in our life too, but pls noe that at the end of everyday, we still do appreciate everybody's goodness from the bottom of our hearts.

my life...

2005-05-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? lam ferly
2. WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? dark blue ny pe shorts... i haven bath since cca... & i woke up late today at 6.55 am
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? BoA juz now, but nothing now coz stoopid bs com lab coms are lan4...
4. ARE YOUR LEGS CROSSED? nope,stretching them out lyk octopus...
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? sour cola tape bought from mini toons, j8.
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?? orange,yellow or bright green... bright colours but NOT hot pink... quite tired of dark colours, carn see my way through them...
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? lyk that lah... juz lyk any other normal evening...
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my mom demanding to noe where i am...
9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? their face & facial expression.
11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? chao enthu & very happy in the morning coz i luv cheering & she's leading the cheers & i cheered wif my squadmates & nynp b38 squad for ny, but more importantly for her. After lunch, taking neoprints was quite a complete U-turn from morning...
12. FAVOURITE DRINK? green tea & apple tea.
13. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? jolly shandy or angler shandy.
14. FAVOURITE SPORT? swimming coz i noe nothing else...
15. FAVOURITE HAIR COLOUR? black.
16. FAVOURITE EYE COLOUR? brown.
17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no.
18. SIBLINGS? 2 big sis & 1 zai bro. =]
19. FAVOURITE FOOD? alot.
20. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? in cinemas, The Shutter. on tv, Ice Age.
21. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? 14 September coz one of my squadmate, my angel & hello kitty turns one year older. =]
23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? guys?? maybe when i'm older... haha... but depends on who u're asking eh...
24. DO YOU LIKE MARMITE? wats that??! sounds lyk termite...
25. SUMMER OR WINTER? both, depends on wat mood i'm in, how i feel...
26. HUGS OR KISSES? huggles!!! i luv to hug ppl alot. very nice, warm feeling. =]
27. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? chocolate mostly... but vanilla if i'm sick of chocolates.
28. U LOVE? my darlings!!! esp hello kitty!!! =]
29. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? hello kitty!!! i guess...
30. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? hmm... wormy??
31. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? i live in a quite not nice place, nybs...
32. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Mockingbird.
33. DID YOU WAKE UP BEFORE YOUR ALARM WENT OFF? rarely...
34. DO U MISS BIG BROTHER YET? duh, he's my bro lorh... luv him lotsa... =]
37. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? anything.
38. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN? buttered & salted.
39. FAVOURITE CRISPS? the chips that they sell at the school popular.
40. FAVOURITE CAR? proton & jeeps'. does NOT include proton wajah... make me seem very short & i'm not used to it & I GET DIZZY.
41. FAVOURITE FLOWERS? any kind of flower, as long as their real flowers.
42. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEYRING? 1 key, my room key. & an access card.
43. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope, i cannot juggle.
44. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK? friday, saturday & sunday.
45. RED OR WHITE WINE? neither nor.
46. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? slack at home.
47. DO YOU OWN A DONOR CARD? nope, currently no.
48.THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING? yuck, school AGAIN...
49. DREAMDATE? hello kitty. =]
50. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED THIS? surf summore & call tingyun to ask she cum back le marh, then off the com,go back my room & wait for tingyun to go eat dinner together. =]

wat the hell's going on??

2005-05-02T01:35:00.000-07:00

i think i'm going mad... sumtimes i really feel & want to live my life or if not, that moment to the fullest & heck care all the troubles & responsibilities... lyk during the walkathon do body combat that time... i aso dunno why... maybe coz its lyk i see lotsa ppl doing the same thing as me & sumbody's leading us??! & i dun feel that lost... or coz hk is sitting on the steps... smiling & clapping lighty wif a nice beeeeg smiley smile. okay,maybe not that beeeg smiley but juz seeing her, her smile, kind face & enthu juz gives me lotsa comfort... & luring??! but now here think there, think is motivation... makes me want to live & smile through all my troubles juz at the point i want to give up... oh,shit i feel lyk crying again... i cried again i think is wednesday... i dunno why,but juz feel very tired... i wanna to break off & stop being homogeneous or sumthing... at school, i dunno i juz hafta smile??! or izzit i carn stop smiling??! maybe i'm scared ppl will ask me ' are u okay?? u today wierd wierd one... not toking alot leh...' & start asking a lot of questions... which i mostly dun feel lyk answering to most ppl... my life's going frenzy lorh... i think i'm leading double lives... no... definately not double only, more in fact. during cca, i'm a person who takes watever her ncos throw at her squad & bond our squad & tries to lick our squad into shape. in class, i'm juz this idiot sitting there & try to act lyk sum super sponge & absorb everything but the problem is that i'm built to be info-resistant. everywhere else other than class, i excel okay. i juz bleargh in class. why carn i be more equalliberium or sumthing... in diff ppl's eyes,through others perspective i'm a dunno who... how can ppl judge me who i am & tell me when i dun even noe how i really look lyk... their comments only add,pile & built up to the maze of confusion i'm in,makes me even more lost. i carn see through the walls of the maze, i dunno wat i'm looking for. i need a compass & a map of the maze to get out, not more walls. or am i so hidden or lost inside the maze that others carn see me??

life sucks,carn i juz end everything??

2005-05-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

tiredness overwhelming
eyelids closing
yet forced open
with such great effort

mind blank
persistant malfunctioning
yet forced to cramp
as much as possible

revision slogging
notes piling
yet all undigested
such an unending pile

arteries clogging
impaired breathing
yet have to push on
i haven't stretched the limit!!

world falling
numbness around
yet I feel the pain inside
wretching, tearing, ripping...

composed by: celia wong min yi

problem wif this poem is that i dun want to hang on anymore... i dun want to push on... juz feel very tired... i want to break off this crazy frenzy cycle... wat the hell,watever i do ppl still say i never study & never work hard... wats their prob?? sigh, can sumbody juz poison me or get a cat to knock me down or tumble off the edge of the building, i dun wan to be stuck here anymore...i juz feel lyk flying off to sumwhere... sumwhere where i can be myself... fly away... my world's shattering & crumbling inside... all i ever want now is to sleep forever... i dun want to wake up... coz i dun want to take up all these responsibilities that never end... i want to leave... but to where?? & when??

ncos rock my world!!!

2005-04-21T22:43:00.000-07:00

wats the definition of ncos u may ask,
well, they are first in our hearts,
definitely not last.
this warmth we feel we carn explain
and farewell is excruciating pain.

though its been 12 months,
we have shared many laughs.
we, cadets hide behind pillars,
admiring them between giggles.

of course, there are some bad days,
when dark grey clouds cover the rays.
but sweet memories our brains will retain,
in our hearts they forever remain.

looking through our handphone it may seem,
u'll be surprised how shy we can be.
for we look at them through the camera
and focus on the ncos we so admire.

people may think we're crazy,
and that our linebetween insanity is hazy
but really, we dun care,
and continue looking for them everywhere.

ncos are really our sunshine,
our binding force,our twine.
the fbi of our sj lives,
who encourage us to strive & shine. =]

composed by: anonymous =] (harhas... can reassure u that composer's not me. doing this coz she wants to protect her privacy.)

totally dedicated to ncos'05!!! we luv ya lotsa & jiayou for everything u all do in the future.=]

the angel in disguise...

2005-04-09T21:40:00.001-07:00

Are you an angel
or a devil in disguise?
Do you bring hope
or gather disappointment?
Are you from the clouds beyond
or from the gates of hell?
Do you bring in rainbows
or do you arise storms?

Without angels
will there be devils?
Without hope will
there be disappointment?
without heaven
then where is hell?
without storms
there won't be rainbows.

So does that mean
without you
there won't be me?

composed: wong min yi celia

colours parade'05!!!

2005-04-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

yay!!!colours parade. yar. i totally forgot about it eh... yupz,as usual... but i wasn't late this time,was way too early in fact,lyk one hour before hand lorh... *sigh* wenta nag eileen to cum but she turn out to be the last who reach lorh??! k,not really last,but she is the last who reached the mrt??! 2nd was celia,xinyu,eileen than shinyi. yeah,yeah... change full-u,wear belt,wear boots... wear & change watever we need to. was quite surprised that the sir & ma'ms checked our u & sum ppl from our contingent kena scolding lyk xiao... harhas,lucky not me!!! k,do sizing again... thx to that bo liao sir. end up behind eileen, and beside hui zi.oh ya,she's a copral. nice nice one! =) very friendly,yeah. hmm,then her friend,i think christina ask to trade places... i din want at first... but apparently eileen was so mad wif happiness that she answered for me instead & i ended being beside eileen at the front row wif hui zi behind me. -.-' blagh,blagh... rehearse once. & guess wat,the last i would ever want to happen in this world happened & yeah, my boots were swimming in the mud & i was lyk figdeting lyk mad summore it was raining!!! i was screaming wat the hell,damn it in my brain!!! my precious boots never shines & now got mud on it,want to shine aso fat luck + dream on lorh!!! was so damn pissed that dunno for wat reason i feel lyk bashing the sir up. celia help calm me down lotsa,yeah,thx. =) luckily din finish the rehearsal coz rain too hard or else i'm really gonna bash sir up... the real thing was okay & quite succesfull cept that it still kept raining [maybe lao tian ye aso felt sorry for my boots,harhas...] & we had to wait for lyk 10 or 5 whole mins for the president to cum lorh... tsk tsk,mr president shouldn't be late lorh... he had ppl to carry a nice beeeeg umbrella for him but the rest of world dun & he din realise that its raining too coz apparently he muz be drinking xo in his mes to not realise that... or he dun noe the time or maybe his ahmad doesn't... hehe... mean me,but think its very funny wat i've written... =) yarh,& i think i freaked him out coz when we pandang... i juz carn stop laughing dunno why but juz carn keep a straight face. hehe... eileen said she juz realised that the president was fatter than in the pics... harhas,maybe he juz gain more weight,yah. should make him do pt every week... =) ooh,& the other good thing was that we were given special permission to tuck our baret under the left black slip on our u even though,we're not ncos... hehe... =) & juz another fun fact, for everybody's information, the changing of colours in sj happens only once in 50 years! =) & it also shows that ferly has been paying attention to the speaker despite rain,muddy boots,juz simmered down temper,slightly blurry specs,suan legs,whispers made by hui zi to christina & the speakers horrible pronounciation of english words but i think he was an old man so i forgive him 100%. =)

i fell for sum stoopid luv song...yeah,yeah...

2005-04-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

yeah!!! went out wif tingyun deary & peisan... ooh,yah notti peisan was a bit whiny & kept asking when we will reach j8. harhas... but me & ting yun were too busy arguing whether the bus past mac-ritchie resevoir arnot to answer her...hehe...=) yupz,& wenta draw money... finally,yesh i got money,no longer pathetically broke... wanna watch movie but stoopid tingyun din bring her specs lorh...-.-' then end up taking neoprints... *sigh* the neoprints were okay but their sizes were definately NOT okay. thx to dumb dumb peisan who click & turn them into pathetic 24 pieces of mini bits... oh ya,hippo if u're reading this arh,pls remember to be kinder to ur poor seniors who promise to go out wif u coz me & tingyun were both injured by u...& pls be more self-aware,k? =) then went to comics & mini toons. bought a sour raspberry honey stick & a packet of chocolate popcorn =) *yummy*!!! then went food junction to eat ice kacang. then precious thoughts & was bored to death. i dun lyk precious thoughts & happy house stuff,all nice to see very not nice to use one... wat a lame shop. heck care so i went sembawang myself. bought lim jun jie's 3rd album->no. 8939757 thingy... still carn memorise,listened it today. not bad,i lyk most of the songs,esp tomorrow. =) went action city... dadadada... k,then ice-lemon-tee. yeah! i bought a nicey nice pair of black moon earrings... very nice!!! =) yesh but its 6 bucks & its a reasonable size & quality. ooh,3 of us bought badges.=) coz its '3 for $4'. yesh,mine says "after been under so much pressure,i've muz been a diamond by now." =) harhas... choose that coz it makes sense for me... then,went to watts in & i bought earrings again but this time its really cheap & very nice!!! black star wif tinges of glitter & white border. =) hehe... very happy... bought sushi... tingyun screaming again coz samuel & kelvin got f4 shirts... yadah yadah... tt's all,i think & i carn be bothered to type anymore,anyway.

wee... colours!!!

2005-03-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

wee... let's tok bout breakfast!!! me is hungry!!! yay,woke up at 10 o'clock [??! harhas... quite late le... i noe...] to cook breakfast together wif 2 jie. hehe... actually i din cook larh coz she wun let me. ooh yah, but she did cook the sausages before i woke up,yupz. but poor sausages all were spilted in the middle of their 'tummy' thanks to my stoopid sis who din defroze them before boiling them lorh... seriously,she's not blur,juz stoopid. hehe... then,coz i say i wan to eat fry egg that's why she go & cook... harhas... yesh,the first egg that she ever fried... & i let her haf it!!! [no larh,the truth is i dun want to eat a messy bundle of white & yellow + hopefully cooked stuff...] harhas... wee...my fried egg is so so round but sadly one side is chao da le... *sobs* thx to my sis, again... who was firstly,din dare to turn it & secondly,too busy toking to my dad... *sigh* And i think she might haf failed her home-econs... hehe... but that was one of the nicest breakfast i ever had honestly... =) yay!!! i luv my 2 jie though sumtimes she very irritating... bleargh...>.<> report of colour's'05!!! *applause claps wolfwhistle...*

Men of Honour

2005-03-25T15:05:00.000-08:00

watched men of honour yesterday nite. it was so touching,really striked me how mean ppl can be if they want to.cried all the time when i was watching for 2 hours straight.it was so touching... carl brashear is so strong... i wouldn't have made it if i were him... ppl can aso be stronger than they think... i am juz so damn touched,he's attitude towards things & life is juz incredible... & human life isn't that fragile after all... & perphas everybody should strive to be better & prove ur selves to those ppl who try to put u down.

founding....

2005-03-02T17:30:00.000-08:00

i'm been thinking...& realised that i dunnit to care...at least that much....

i dun care
if dun friend me.
i took ur stuff
without u noe-ing.
that is indeed my fault,
but now its not,
i've said sorry.
u dun accept my apology,
i dun mind a bit.
coz u and i
can hardly 'click'.
even we're friends,
we barely meet.
let alone,
say we speak.
if u wanna end
this friendship,
-no comment-
is all i'll say.
goodbye,
if that's wat u want,
i'll juz wish u
the best of luck.
but please remember
to be on ur best behaviour.
coz if not,
i'll pity,
the ppl u might meet,
sumday in the future.

watever

2005-02-28T13:10:00.000-08:00

Life sucks...and nothings going rite...thinking of ending it...

i'm tired of fighting...
wats the point...
at the end of the day?
i still dun fit in...

bleargh....

2005-02-27T20:00:00.000-08:00

bleargh...>.< horrible week lorh...never had so much tests in one week before. nearly died of stress. but i noe for sure that i'm gonna flop my math & chinese but hopefully pass my bio. harhas coz its easier & i think i noe howta do,but still got sum spelling mistakes. harhas...wenta watch white noise wif sheena,tai soon,nathanddus (dunno howta spell) & his friend. stupid sheena kept leacing her stuff bout...harhas,but white noise was ok or below ok,the movie lyk you1 tou2 wu2 wei3 one...or i dun understand the end larh...but never mind. weez...wenta shopping after the guys left & i bought a nice black tee from op & wenta poke ear holes. hee...hee...not painful one harhas. quite happy,but i noe i'll cry lyk xiao coz of my test results starting from tmw onwards...

wat u gave me juz wasn't enough,
i wanta to noe u...
inside out...
& try to see through ur soul...

Vdae....

2005-02-14T13:25:00.000-08:00

rose in the bottle,
our happy memories,
joy, sadness, frustration...
we're always together,
for one another.
for everything
and anything
u've done for me,
thx, i'll remember.
we're friends till the end,
forever
and ever.

vdae is juz lyk tt lorh... nothing special nothing adnormal. sec 1 cca result out le, sjab only got 16 or 17 ppl. very depressing. npcc got 32 or 33 ppl.

perhaps its time to let go...
let it be gone wif the wind...

??!

2005-02-11T17:35:00.000-08:00

why do i feel so empty inside? sumthing is juz not rite... wish i could be gone wif the wind... it seems spring but fall inside turning to winter... there are juz times when i turn icy cold, all i want is juz to think,not that i'm angry... everyone needs time to sort their thinking. most things are dead in this world, they are alive but each & every is the same... some things are very much alive though its black & white, it makes u think of things u never thought of... i feel tired of being the same as everyone expects the rest of the world to be... but if i were to be the person i want to be, do wat i want to do... i would upset the ppl around me... but thats wat lotsa us want to do... but at the of the day, how many of us really haf the courage to do wat we want, dare to realise our dreams?